In an Adventure With Scientists by Gideon Defoe

Author:Gideon Defoe [Defoe, Gideon]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Fiction, General, cookie429
ISBN: 9781408828144
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Published: 2004-08-25T14:00:00+00:00

17 Men’s vocal cords tend to be thicker than women’s, so they produce a deeper tone in exactly the same way that a thick rubber band makes a deeper sound than a thin one when you twang it. You might need to stretch the rubber bands over a biscuit tin to get the full effect.

18 Though the name ‘Jolly Roger’ would lead you to expect a picture of a happy-looking man, it is actually a scary skull above two crossed bones.

Nine

Enter the Pirate King!

By twelve o’clock the scarf-wearing pirate and the pirate with an accordion were already sweltering under their multiple disguises. You could hardly hear the clanking of their pirate buckles beneath the layers of lab coat and lady’s dress each man wore. They didn’t know exactly what it was they were meant to be looking for at the sinister circus – the Pirate Captain had simply told them to keep an eye out for anything suspicious. Looking through the glossy circus brochure the pirate with a scarf thought that it all sounded pretty suspicious – a man with no face, a lady with a phobia for tin foil, an out-of-control teen . . . he was worried that they wouldn’t know where to start. The queue to get in stretched all the way down the Mall.

‘That’s a fetching eye patch. Is it just for show?’

It took the pirate with a scarf a few seconds to realise that the question was being directed at him, and by the young lady just ahead of them in the queue. Looking up, he was so taken aback by how pretty she was he almost forgot to answer in a high-pitched voice instead of his normal pirate voice.

‘It’s . . . that is . . . I’ve got an astigmatism,’ he stuttered. ‘The optician says I have to wear the patch until it goes away.’

‘You poor thing,’ said the girl, with a look of real concern. ‘Would you like a sandwich? It’s Serrano ham.’

The pirate with a scarf gratefully took the proffered sandwich. He thought he had better make introductions. ‘Thank you. I’m . . . Francine. And this is, erm, Daphne,’ he said.

‘Jennifer. That’s a very shiny accordion you have there, Daphne.’

The pirate with an accordion just grunted, because his lady voice wasn’t particularly realistic.

‘You’re extremely rugged. For a girl,’ said Jennifer, turning back to the pirate with a scarf.

‘Thank you,’ said the pirate, unconsciously flexing the muscles in his back, and knitting his eyebrows together in what he hoped was a suave manner.

‘Are you here to see the Mermaid?’ asked Jennifer. ‘I’ve heard it’s a bit disappointing. Just the top half of a monkey stitched to the bottom half of a fish.’

‘Erm, no. That is, not in particular.’

‘The albino then?’

‘Actually, one of our friends is an albino,’ said the pirate brightly.

‘Ooh! Is it true that if you ever look directly into their eyes, you turn into an albino yourself? And that they can only eat white things, like vanilla ice cream and Milky Bars?’

‘I don’t think so.

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